"I did it when I was a freshman, and you'll do it when you're seniors, but you're doing great. Now fry like bacon, you little freshmen piggies! FRY!"


"What, are we having social hour over here? I'm supposed to be being a bitch."


"What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch."


"The '50s were boring, the '60 rocked, and the '70s - oh, my God, they obviously suck. Maybe the '80s will be radical. I figure we'll be in our twenties and it can't get worse."


"All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life...remind me to kill myself."


"Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did the best I could while stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place...dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place."


"Did ya ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky stuff goin' on there. And it's green, too!"


[describing his dream] "So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body, and..."
Mike: "What?"
Tony: "I can't say."
Mike: "No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. C'mon, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start."
Tony: "But the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard...everything."


"This first lick I'd like to dedicate to your mother...fuck her."


"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

"All right, all right, all right."


[after being threatened] "Mr. Payne, sir. You know every second that you could let us out early would really increase our chances of survival."
Mr. Payne: "It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle. MEN! [the freshmen jump] Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back."
Mitch: "Okay."


"We're in the big time now! We're freshmen, where all the girls will be puttin' out!"

Hirschfelder: "I was getting there! I had my hand under her shirt!"
Tommy: "Hear that? He was 'getting there.' Son, you wouldn't know what to do even if you had gotten there, so don't worry about it."


"BREAKDOWN! Hell grandmother's quicker and tougher than you pansies. 'Course she's 6'3" 250."